We all turn to Google for the answers to life’s big questions – and fashion is no different. During 2015, the search engine’s top 10 style questions ranged from the perennial (“how to walk in heels?”) to the weird (“What to wear to a wedding in the woods?”) to the self-evident (“What are mules shoes?”), suggesting that weddings remain the ultimate source of sartorial stress and that footwear is enduringly baffling. On the off-chance that Google’s algorithms didn’t provide the explanations required, the Guardian’s fashion experts offer their solutions.
1. How to walk in heels
I’m going to retrospectively enlist Linda Evangelista for help with this one. I once met the supermodel in a hotel suite to ask her exactly this question (so analogue, I know). She was not impressed with my question at all, despite my protests that I thought she was one of the few women in the world qualified to answer. But, hey, supermodels reserve the right to be withering, too. She finally answered that normally when you walk you tread heel, ball, toe, but in high heels your foot should land flat to the floor (practise in the mirror). Which sounds plausible. This season, though, I’d highly recommend a pair of flat, Gucci-esque loafers instead. Imogen Fox
2. What to wear on the first day of school
Presuming it isn’t obligatory to wear a uniform, I would recommend channelling various famous school children if you’re really stuck. Harper Beckham for foundation-year girls, Cher from Clueless for high-school girls, Charlie Brown for little boys, Michael Cera in Juno for teenagers. If you have a large family and a bold wardrobe agenda, then nothing looks as alpha as the full Von Trapp matchy matchy pinafore thing. But if this question comes from a mum having some Daily Mail-inspired celeb-school-run-mum-style meltdown, then get over yourself. Wearing jeans and remembering the PE kit is enough, fashion-wise. IF
3. How to fray jeans
You cut off the hem with scissors, then you take a razor blade and whizz it back and forth across the raw cut. Then you put on your trainer socks and Stan Smiths, find some nice floor tiles and Instagram it. IF
4. How to tie a shirt
Very on-trend question, there, Googlers. The “elevated white shirt” – or, in non-fashion language, a shirt styled in an off-kilter way – will be a huge trend for spring/summer 2016. Tying it could mean undoing the bottom few buttons and knotting the shirt together, rockabilly style, or bunching the bottom of the shirt at one hip and knotting it, which feels quite 1980s. Or, if you want to look Very Now And Very Fashion – like the sort of person who lives to be photographed in Les Tuileries during Paris fashion week – the shirt should be worn backwards and tied in a neat knot at the base of your spine. Dare you. Hannah Marriott
5. What should a bride wear to the rehearsal dinner
This is an easy one. You want to look fabulous – may as well milk it, eh? – but in a less “ta-da” way than on your wedding day. This is your chance to wear exactly what you like – particularly if your wedding dress feels like a bit of a compromise, whether that’s for reasons of budget or tradition. Personally, I’d think of Emma Watson or Lea Seydoux on the red carpet, looking sleek in a Saint Laurent suit, or glossy in a bright yellow dress. Or, if you fancy wearing bridal white or cream, a Solange Knowles jumpsuit or relaxed cocktail dress (like this from Whistles) would be brilliant. HM
6. What to wear booties with
A dressie? No, just messing, because booties are actually ankle boots in American parlance which makes this staggeringly simple to answer: clothes. And which now, thinking about it, means it’s probably a trick question. Nice one, Google.
Morwenna Ferrier
7. What are mules shoes
£45. ” width=”500″ height=”348″ class=”gu-image” />Mules shoes (sic) are mules, or backless shoes, often with a small heel and a closed toe. Mules have received mixed reviews over the years. Marie Antoinette loved them, as did Michelle Obama, Barbie and Sarah Jessica Parker more recently, although popularity among prostitutes saw them dip in popularity for almost a century in the late Victorian period. That’s it – blame women. Truth is, you just can’t polish a turd. MF
8. What to wear to a wedding in the woods
How very A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Your main concern, with an outdoor bash, is ensuring your footwear is up to the job, so your look needs to start from the feet up. If it’s winter, a pair of ankle boots with a block heel will ensure you don’t sink in to the mud – and these ones are wipe clean if you do. If the weather allows bare legs, a sandal with a low block heel will be comfy. Better stick to closed toes, lest your pedicure gets ruined by twigs. HM
9. How to dress up like Miranda Sings
Had to Google this one. Miranda Sings (real name Colleen Evans) is a very, very popular American comedian with billions of YouTube views, a strong teen empowerment message, fans called Mirfandas and a ringing endorsement from Jerry Seinfeld’s daughter. That doesn’t answer the question, but it does give you a sense of what you’re getting into. First, you need Mac lipstick in Russian Red, which you draw over the borders of your lips. Then you need some chenille jogging bottoms in an offensive colour pulled up too tight, a bright sweater, pink Crocs and a PA who looks a bit like you. Sings is a master of that whole fake-ugly thing, though, so it’s only worth trying this if you’re hot. MF
10. What color shoes goes with a black and blue dress
Black. Unless it’s summer, in which case a tan sandal could work. And getting your grammar right is so hot right now. IF
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